The Fashionable Ms. Patterson

I know I’ve been silent for a while. This post may alienate the .2 readers I have left. But I got the itch to blog today and hope that you will look at my absence and possible offense with compassion and not criticism.

I never understood my mother’s fashion choices. When I was young, I never noticed what she wore. Then, I hit seventh grade and I became acutely aware of what was on my peers as well as on the television. I became very picky. My mother will happily verify that her patient, caring soul spent hours traipsing through the Lafayette mall looking for 3-quarter length shirts, boot cut jeans, and Sam & Libby sneakers. But my mother’s personal style did not follow the trends- a fashion faux pas I never understood… until now.

This spring I took nine middle school girls on a beach retreat. Several of the girls wanted to go to one of the beach stores that sold cheap t-shirts and trinkets. I willingly took them and enjoyed bantering about bands and school. When we got to the store, one of the girls grabbed a pair of huge orange neon sunglasses. “Those are hilarious!” I declared. “Aren’t they the coolest?” she responded, totally serious. All four girls bought a pair because “you can’t find glasses like these at home.” The next day, they each bought another pair—just in case the original broke.

I wondered if I was just unaware, if the stores that I shopped in were behind the times, or if my semi-absence from consumerism for two months had left me in the dust. To calm my woes, I decided to check out the newest addition to a growing up-scale shopping center down the street- Dillards.

I didn’t make it past the first floor. Surrounding me was large floral spandex, white pants in all shapes, and one-sleeved tops.

Several days later, at a quite upscale restaurant, I noticed I was the only woman not in a romper (those short/tank top combinations that you have to take off like a one piece bathing suit to pee). One looked exactly like a romper I wore in the sixth grade (the white one with the big pink flowers all over it).

I can live with this, I thought. It will be here for a while, then die out as all ridiculous trends do. As long as the bodysuit (i.e. the adult onesie) wasn’t back, I could deal with a few florals and neon accents. Then I got a confirmation call from a friend who had entered a more mainstream store… not only was the adult onsie back, but so were vests, jeans with zippers, and all sorts of other early 90s fashions.

So, I blog today with sadness in my heart, worry for the future, and some advice for the masses (should you choose to accept it from a woman who now makes most of her own clothes and hasn’t bought a pair of jeans in more than two years).

1. If you ever saw your outfit on the The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Saved by the Bell, a baby or used as a halloween costume, you may not want to wear it.

2. If a color does not occur in nature, it probably won’t look natural on you.

3. Vests are for fishing tackle, park rangers, tuxedos and men’s suits.

4. If you need a zipper to get your legs in some pants, maybe you should try a bigger size.

5. If you can buy a 12 pack of the item on oriental trading company for less than five dollars, it’s probably not worth the $30 you’re about to plop down.

I’m sorry, dear readers… whoever you are. I do not mean to offend, only to voice my frustration and sorrow for all the years I silently judged my mothers fashion choices. I did not know how ridiculous the rest of us looked. I did not understand the toll fashion takes on the wallet and the environment. I did not realize who I was allowing to influence my mind.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not about to start wearing feedsacks and old t-shirts. I’ll be the first to say that I always like to look nice. But, perhaps, looking nice could mean something other than being in fashion. Perhaps it means modesty, a respect for where our clothing comes from, and the courage to say no to the latest trend.

Feeling Scattered

For me, revelation almost always hits like a two-ton truck. I’ve never been good at easing into decisions. It’s always decided in an instant- two feet in or two feet out and down the block. During those few times when I’ve forced myself to linger, I’ve found myself wallowing in a sea of emotions, blabbering everything to anyone who will listen. By nature, I’m a high self-discloser.

So, I’m going to try something new for a while. I’m going to be quiet. And when I feel like talking, I will type. But when I don’t, you won’t hear from me. And I think that’s totally fine. Have a good one…

Bluebonnet Photos with Lilly and Christian

I've decided that Texas is tolerable in the spring (shocking, I know). But the temperatures are relatively mild, and when we've had enough rain, the wildflowers are gorgeous. The environment is perfect for family portraits, which is what I got to do yesterday with Lilly, Christian and their parents, Brandon and Jessica. We had lots of fun playing in the flowers...

If you want to see them larger, click on the image or shoot me a message and I'll send you the direct link.

A Lovely Day for Photos

J and I have had the pleasure of getting to know the Rose family over the past two years. When we first met the Roses, they were starting the adoption process. In the course of the past year, they've added four children to their home! First, they adopted twin boys, then they accepted the boys' older sister as a foster child, then they gave birth to Edmund in December. Adele's adoption was finalized yesterday, and I had the honor of attending and taking some photos. Afterwards, we went out for gelato at Central Market.

The Rose Family with the Judge

Leo and Tobias waiting anxiously for their gelato

Little Edmund chillin' on a pretty spring day

Miss Adele celebrating her forever family

Now, wasn't that fun?

Healthcare: If your upset do something

A lot of people are up in arms about healthcare legislation again. Many have asked my thoughts on the matter, which are lacking at best. I guess having been somewhat politically involved at one point in my life and surviving cancer means I get to have an opinion that matters. In any case, I’ve formulated some thoughts and want to share three of them below.

1) The absence of pre-existing conditions is not a horrible thing.

Many people don’t realize that once you’ve had a condition (like cancer), letting your insurance lapse for more than three months means that anything related to your condition is now considered a pre-existing condition. Regardless of your health, even a slight arrhythmia felt at birth can be used to exclude you from treatment for a heart problem at 30. For thousands of young adults who let their premiums slip at one point or another during college, starting a family and finding a job, the absence of pre-existing conditions means healthcare is finally affordable for them. By affordable, I mean $400 a month instead of $2,000. That’s the difference between being stable an unstable.

Doesn’t this mean that a 2,000 pound woman who has never taken care of herself can get on my plan and raise my premiums because of her health problems? Yes. But consider this: that woman was irresponsible enough to let herself get to that weight, so she’s probably not going to take the time to research health plans and buy into yours, especially if you’re already paying a high premium.

2) I understand why universal healthcare is appealing.

Some people say that this bill is just one step closer to universal healthcare. Yes, it probably is, and as much as I fret about the QUALITY of our healthcare going down when this happens, I cannot help but see why it’s so appealing to those who cannot take care of themselves.

If we’ve learned anything from this recession, it’s that people really can’t take care of themselves. If you can’t forgo your iced mocha and name-brand purses for a few months to save up for a down payment, you have no business buying a house.

A few weeks ago, I heard a radio program with a woman who had recently lost her home and owed $300,000 more on her house than it was worth. Her excuse? “You can’t take it with you, so I just refinanced and enjoyed the money while I could.” How can we honestly expect someone with this attitude to pay for her own health insurance? Whether it’s through government assistance or charity, we’re going to pay end up paying for her healthcare either way. If we don’t, we’ll heave ourselves into other issues, such as heavier crime.

For some families who lost their incomes, or families who are trying to care for a disabled child, government health insurance will be salvation. These are families who aren’t trying to save for retirement. They are just trying to save for next week’s grocery bill. For those few families that this current bill will help, I am thankful.

A few years ago, I worked for a non-profit in North Carolina that provided financial assistance for families in need. I was shocked at the types of people who needed financial assistance and the quantity. So many of us are living just one or two paychecks from disaster. If you want to make them less dependant on the government, try donating to charities that are helping people who actually need it. If you’re out of money to give, donate your time so they can stretch their resources further.

3) The ethic of healthcare should be consistent and absent of political parties.

I’ve often wondered how a political party that I’ve been involved with for so long (and still generally vote for) could care for life in the very beginning and very end, but fail to console the suffering in the middle. Seems to me that our sympathy, our compassion, our time and our dollars should carry through to all walks of life. Maybe that able-bodied man could use a sandwich and a job. Perhaps he will take the sandwich and skip the job, but we at least owe him the compassion to try.

While I may not agree with the legislation or think it will work, at least someone is trying something. I truly doubt they are doing this to advance a well-planned agenda for socialism or communism. I think they are advancing these ideas because they are truly trying to help. Even if the solution prolongs or deepens the problems, at least they are doing something.

Many people are concerned because you can’t “roll back entitlements.” Rolling them back may be hard to do, but shifting them to more effective programs may be a simple solution. If we take the time to find some good ideas that will help individuals find affordable (and better) insurance in the private market, then government health insurance will be rendered completely ineffective. At that point, it’s easy to put it back on the chopping block.

I mean these thoughts as encouragement. The world is not headed to doomsday (depending on your religious persuasion). This healthcare will probably hurt some of us (a lot of us). Just remember, that others were hurting before, and maybe this will help for a while. If you’re not happy with the legislation, then advance some ideas on the local level. Put some compassion into action, and make a difference. That’s all you can do, so let’s get off our high horses and make it happen.

What are YOU going to do about it?

The Magnificent Fall of IHOP

In college, IHOP was a treat beyond treats. I refused to live off my savings, and was relegated to surviving on whatever was left of rent money and any funds I could rummage up from babysitting gigs and other odd jobs (one semester I snagged a gig typing up reports for the student justice office for $6 an hour where I learned how common public urination actually is in college). When the coupon packet arrived on Wednesdays, I was in heaven… especially because more often than not we found a buy-one get-one free coupon to the International House of Pancakes. Being my pre-gluten free days, I would blame my subsequent swollen, twisted stomach on the amount of food I consumed. Only yesterday did I learn that what I was eating wasn’t food at all.

To give you a little more background information, you should know that I’ve been reading more about where our food comes from and the ethos involved in bringing it to my plate. The Jungle eliminated many meat products from my diet in college, and gluten intolerance took care of most processed foods. But lately, I’m realizing that the problem goes well beyond my preferences and digestion issues. Food is gradually being transformed into products resembling food in far away manufacturing plants and traveling an average of 1,500 miles to reach your plate. No matter what your particular political persuasion may be, that’s a lot of miles! You want to cut down on green house gases? Skip the Prius and eat local.

Let me illustrate by taking you back IHOP. J and I attended a conference in Dallas on Saturday, spent the night and drove home Sunday morning. By 10:30, we were both starving and still a couple hours from home due to the unimaginable- snow in central Texas at the end of March (crazy, but true). After miles and miles of nothing edible, and one short stint at a truck stop with a huge picture of Willie Nelson on the front, J pulled into IHOP. Surely, we could find some “real food” there.

The scene opened with the waitress coming to get our drink orders. Trying to be kind and not take up too much of her time, I politely asked her about the seasonings on the hashbrowns. After all, what could be easier to make gluten free than basic potatoes and eggs? She retrieved the manager, who explained that the potatoes come in a dried, dehydrated form, pre-seasoned. They are soaked in water overnight so they will look more like potatoes when cooked. They had no fresh potatoes in the restaurant. So, I asked if I could have some real eggs (In small print, at the bottom of the menu, was a note to ask for real eggs if you didn’t want the “fake” ones automatically provided). That’s when he explained that the eggs were cooked in “butter” which is actually a soybean mixture flavored with unknown seasonings and colored to look like butter. He recommended avoiding it to be safe.

I turned to J, exasperated and stunned, and told him to order. My only option was lettuce with oil and vinegar (couldn’t have the chicken, or the “fresh” veggies), and I was not about to pay $8 for a bunch of iceberg lettuce. J ordered the “Country” omelet with REAL eggs because it was the only thing that didn’t come with a plate full of meat.

The “food” arrived and he anxiously dug in (J loves to eat). But after one bite, the expression on his face changed from “thank goodness” to “get this out of my mouth now.” Inside his seemingly innocent omlette was not bits of diced “ham,” but a solid block (or brick) of unidentified shredded and chopped meats. The waitress apologized and said she messed up our order, to which J simply said to bring him a short stack of pancakes. She did, and after searching our table for anything that resembled maple syrup, he downed them as fast as he could and asked for our bill. The damage? $8.50 for three pancakes (probably made in a factory) and one coffee (they were kind enough to take the omelet off). We left vowing to “never again” step foot in an IHOP.

Several years ago, a rumor circulated about Kentucky Fried Chicken, claiming that the group changed their name to KFC because they no longer served real chicken. Now, I’m starting to wonder about IHOP. Have they switched the acronym because they don’t really serve pancakes? How is it that they are always perfectly round, and evenly browned?

In the end, we weren’t searching for anything out of the ordinary, like gluten-free bread or organic cheese. We knew to even ask for such an extravagance was outlandish. But we were shocked and dismayed that asking for real potatoes and real eggs at a breakfast restaurant was impossible too.

Next time you get that coupon packet in the mail, don’t clip the IHOP one. Save your time, money and health by picking up some eggs and potatoes from the local supermarket (local farmers market if you want to save gas). Heck, try skipping the bisquick and whip up some pancakes of your own using REAL flour too. Slop on some REAL maple syrup while your at it (instead of corn syrup that’s flavored to taste like maple). It’s really not that difficult, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the tasty results.

Healthy Planning for a Happy Family

Friday will mark four weeks since I quit my full time job to work part time for a non-profit and “organize” my life. I’m quickly learning that all this “free time” is suddenly consumed with roles and responsibilities that I never knew I had. The last few days, I’ve wondered to myself how I ever did it working full time with two hours of commuting a day (and we don’t even have kids). The answer: I didn’t. I just didn’t do all this “stuff.” We were on the verge of hiring a housekeeper, my lunch breaks were filled with paperwork and dinner time happened when J or I would declare “I’m starving” and then ravage the pantry for whatever was fast and easy.

I must say that I like this new method much better. This morning, I sat down with the grocery ads and made a list. I decided on meals for the week, nothing rigid, just enough to get us through. Anything we don’t make gets carried over to the next week. I organized my list according to the way the grocery is set up (thanks Mom), and I wrote a “c” next to items with coupons.

Not only are we saving money from not eating out as much, but we’re actually eating better too. When I would go to the grocery before, I would always buy at least four cans of black beans. Black beans are an easy protein that doesn’t need to be thawed, cooked, or even heated (though they are much better that way). We had black bean tacos, black bean quesadillas, black beans on salad and in soup, and black beans in our omlettes. Although there’s nothing wrong with black beans and their nutritional content is mostly good, the sheer quantity we went through was astounding. Today, I bought one can of black beans- and we haven’t even touched last week’s.

On Friday, I start a new home-organizing routine with “Flooring Friday” (soon to be followed with “Wipe down Wednesday”). While I’m aiming not to over-organize, I know that these changes are slowly making our home more peaceful. After all, why should I focus on putting out fires when I can prevent them in the first place? In case you’ve forgotten, fires lead to a bigger mess in the end!